I've re boarded the first act and hopefully it conveys the camera move that we want to establish. It was difficult to show this move within the animatic but if you look at the boards a bit closer hopefully it becomes obvious how the camera moves from item to item.
Below is the full act in storyboard form, along with the first camera move shown separately for closer inspection.
Hey Atom people,
ReplyDeleteSorry, Ethan if it appears I was responding only to the animatic put together by Jordan - but I'm a bit worried that there are now multiple animatics (and multiple authors of animatics etc.). I just assumed that the animatic stage had been delegated after the script had been signed off on - I don't much like the idea of 'competitive animatics' at your stage of working, because it doesn't seem truly collaborative - or efficient. Of course - in the end, regardless of feedback - mine, yours, anyone's - the film has to satisfy its makers! Looking between the two versions, I'm discovering I'm ill-equipped to choose because I'm not comfortable with the competitive dynamic - too which I now suspect I'm contributing. Suffice to say, I like the long establishing shot in Jordan's because it feels fluid and filmic and conveys lots of information; yes, the calendar shot could come in later, but the one rule I'd have in place is that props and details shouldn't just arrive in the scene when you need them, but rather they should be established from the beginning in the mise-en-scene*, so the shot that combines the clock with the existence of the calendar kills two birds with one stone; if you cut back to the calendar in close-up as a later cut, that would work too. In J's animatic, it does now feel too abrupt that we arrive straight on the newspaper article on the wall, I'd just one to see more details still - shelves with awards on etc - anything to set up the action more luxuriously in terms of your character.
*This includes that electrical pencil sharpener! That shouldn't just 'appear' because of the exigency of the gag - it should be introduced as a part of the desk set up alongside everything else - otherwise you risk confusing your audience re. where it came from etc. and what it is - oh, and the drawerful of pencils gag - I think you could exaggerate their number much more so for the joke to work nicely. More pencils, loads more!
I suggest, as a group - you work to further finesse the reality-into-murder scene sequences - actually dealing with them as satisfying transitions and storytelling 'highlights' as opposed to means to an end.
Hey Phil, I don't think we were working on competitive animatics. Instead, last week we decided to take on an edit each, just to play around with different ideas and see which worked best. Then on Friday we talked about what we felt worked and what didn't. Tomorrow we are all meeting in uni to work on an edit of the entire thing together. So hopefully after tomorrow we'll have something more complete and collaborative.
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