Here is the latest version of our animatic. We've currently got a mixed soundtrack but are in the process of trying to fix a commission. We'd love to know what you think.
Hey chaps - congratulations btw on finding a way past the difficulties of recent days - together, as properly collaborative unit, you've moved your film on in leaps and bounds, both in terms of internal logic and energy. There is still something (!) that niggles me about the transition from the outside of the window to the pan from one side of the window across the wall. Obviously this is an animatic, so the fluidity is presumed, and the way you're now establishing the relationship between the awards, the calendar and the article etc is absolutely on the money, but there is a discomfort - for me at least - about the outside-to-inside transition.
The other thing that's not clear is does the writer fall over when he pulls the pencil out of the sharpener. He should do! It seems inevitable somehow in terms of the escalation of stress - and the animatic already have suggests that he does - but then there's the shot of all the pencils in the drawer. For me, I'd probably lose the pencils-in-the-drawer reveal and go with the the pratfall instead - but I don't want to cause another civil war! :(
And finally, when we spoke last time, I suggested that you could transition from the whirling chair shot, to the dream sequence of the writer with his award, wherein your writer is spinning around jubilantly, holding the award to his chest, while on the floor around him in a circle are the words 'Golden Dagger Award Winner 1936' - and then you can transition back out the same way...
Anyway - it's all looking good, chaps! You should feel rather proud of yourselves I think! :D
Hi, for me the panning shot in through the window seems a bit 'flat'...it's all the same distance away from the wall. Would it maybe flow a bit better if, as you panned across, you gradually zoomed into the awards shelf, and then in the next shot (the close-up of the awards), you could zoom slowly outwards and up to the calendar?
Thanks for the comments :) We have decided that maybe previs for some of the shots will help us. One comment Alan made is that it needs to be shorter which I think is definitely true now. Really just needs to be refined and tweaked. We are all working on modelling and hopefully this week will have some basic previs to demonstrate camera moves etc.
I don't hear any sounds at all ! :(
ReplyDeleteHey chaps - congratulations btw on finding a way past the difficulties of recent days - together, as properly collaborative unit, you've moved your film on in leaps and bounds, both in terms of internal logic and energy. There is still something (!) that niggles me about the transition from the outside of the window to the pan from one side of the window across the wall. Obviously this is an animatic, so the fluidity is presumed, and the way you're now establishing the relationship between the awards, the calendar and the article etc is absolutely on the money, but there is a discomfort - for me at least - about the outside-to-inside transition.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing that's not clear is does the writer fall over when he pulls the pencil out of the sharpener. He should do! It seems inevitable somehow in terms of the escalation of stress - and the animatic already have suggests that he does - but then there's the shot of all the pencils in the drawer. For me, I'd probably lose the pencils-in-the-drawer reveal and go with the the pratfall instead - but I don't want to cause another civil war! :(
And finally, when we spoke last time, I suggested that you could transition from the whirling chair shot, to the dream sequence of the writer with his award, wherein your writer is spinning around jubilantly, holding the award to his chest, while on the floor around him in a circle are the words 'Golden Dagger Award Winner 1936' - and then you can transition back out the same way...
Anyway - it's all looking good, chaps! You should feel rather proud of yourselves I think! :D
Hi, for me the panning shot in through the window seems a bit 'flat'...it's all the same distance away from the wall. Would it maybe flow a bit better if, as you panned across, you gradually zoomed into the awards shelf, and then in the next shot (the close-up of the awards), you could zoom slowly outwards and up to the calendar?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments :) We have decided that maybe previs for some of the shots will help us. One comment Alan made is that it needs to be shorter which I think is definitely true now. Really just needs to be refined and tweaked. We are all working on modelling and hopefully this week will have some basic previs to demonstrate camera moves etc.
ReplyDelete